If I had a dollar for every book or seminar written on improving self-esteem, I would be absolutely rich. There is no shortage of authors or motivational speakers with how-to solutions on “five quick tips to boost your self-image”, or “feel better about yourself in 12 easy steps”.
But here’s the problem: You’ve finished that book or returned from that seminar and you DO feel great about yourself – for about two days. Then reality begins to settle in again;
- Your boss is upset with you because you overlooked something at work;
- Your kid has labeled you as the worst parent in the world because you wouldn’t allow them to go to a concert;
- You made a mistake on that project and now you can’t stop beating yourself up.
In today's world, it can be tough to feel good about yourself on a regular basis. This is an issue I see with many, many people - and I feel compelled this month to share with you what has worked for me. Many attempts to find self-esteem are at best temporary, because they do not address the root of the issue. So, here is what I have found to bring life-long self-esteem.
The Real Secret…
There is sometimes a tendency to separate our lives into categories: Who you are at work may be different from who you are at home. Who you are at home may be different from who you are at church. Who you are at church even be different from who you are at work. The truth is, you are one whole person – body, mind and spirit – and the three cannot operate individually. And your spirit – the most important of them all – has a great affect on your physical being, as well as your way of thinking.
To realize your own personal value, I have found that it’s important to see things in a spiritual light. Tonight, take a moment to look out at the stars. It’s a wonderful reminder that here is so much more to this world - this universe – this existence – and you are a part of it all.
The key to attaining true self-esteem is realizing that you are not here on earth by happenstance. You are not just a living “blob” created without purpose. The first step to discovering your true, authentic self is acknowledging that you are a wonderfully made by a Creator – a designer – a God.
All great designers – whether they are engineers, seamstresses, or artists – have the ability to create unique pieces of work. They put their heart – their very being – into what they have created. And the finished product is something truly special. It’s something to be valued and admired.
God is the ultimate Designer. Because He loves you, He has designed with you with great care and purpose. Begin to see yourself as that unique piece of work.
The pastor of our church has a favorite saying. He constantly reminds the congregation, “You are who God says you are!”
This means that you must not lean on other people to define who you are and what you stand for. It doesn’t matter what others say about you. When it really comes down to it, it doesn’t even matter how you see yourself! What truly counts is agreeing with how God sees you.
The opinion of others, including your own opinion of yourself, can change from day to day. To see yourself as a truly valuable person, you must have a “gauge” that will not fluctuate based on your circumstances. The opinion of the One who created you does not change depending on how you “performed” that day. Each and every day, His opinion of you is, “You are my unique and special creation, and I love you!”
You ARE valuable. You ARE gifted. You ARE loved. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve been through. Real self-esteem comes when your thoughts and actions align with who God says you are. This is where you find your true, authentic self – the person whom you will highly esteem!
Coaching tip: Ask yourself this question: Is your self-esteem based on what others think of you? Is it based on how you think you “perform” on a daily basis? If you answered “yes” to either, I challenge you to take 10 minutes tonight to look out into the stars. Speak to God our Creator and ask Him what He thinks of you. And please share with me what you experience!
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